2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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