ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
