I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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