Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
