I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
