I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
