I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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