Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
