thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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