I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
