You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
