Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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