me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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