We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
