so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
