I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize