ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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