he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
