what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
