Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
