Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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