i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
