She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
