You really coming over, don't trick.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
