If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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