Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He felt like a one man threesome
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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