Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
