So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
