thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize