Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
