i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
