FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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