It's Friday. Sex?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
