He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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