She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i believe in u and ur pee
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
