Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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