every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
