Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
