I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
