Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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