on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
