do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
