You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
