she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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