So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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