I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
