i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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