Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
