He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
