just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
