went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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