God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Nicole vs. Life
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
