We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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