i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
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