Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He passed out mid-signature
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
