So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize