I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
