Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just sucked dick on a ferry
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
