people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
